Reflection.

This post has no real purpose. I’m in one of those far-off moods where the monotony in the present doesn’t seem to matter much. This post is for me to take a step back and straighten my thoughts out. Feel free to do this yourself. It could be very enlightening.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
-I would be 21. There’s no real reason for a lady to age beyond that.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?
-I know that I’m supposed to say never trying, but I know I fear failure more.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
-That’s a tough one. For one thing, we have to do things we don’t like to survive. For another, we’ve had it beaten into our heads that school and work are the only ways to get by, but most people hate it. That I blame on Capitalism. Yep.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
-I certainly hope so. But I do have a LOT to say.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
-I wish we put more value on love and knowledge and less on money.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
-Writing or working on a wildlife conservation.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
-I’m doing what I can to pay my bills.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
-Honestly? I’d probably be a damn criminal so I could do whatever I wanted for as long as possible.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
-Well. Not a lot, actually. Up until this point, I’ve pretty much just followed instructions.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
-Can they not be one and the same?

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
-“Hey, now! She’s actually a good friend of mine. I know she can come across as ______, but she’s actually really _______. If you knew her like I do, you’d feel otherwise.”

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
-Always keep an open mind. Oh, and read as much as you can.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?
-I would hide the body.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
-I find that the two often parallel each other.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
-I eat my food weird. I purposely save things for last or eat all of the gross stuff first, or I chew all the meat and cheese hanging out of the burger to make it perfectly circular, and I break my pop-tarts into four corners. (After I eat all the crust off.)

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
-Because not everyone is as awesome as me.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
See the world. Money ):

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
-A grudge. Or four.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
-Definitely Australia.

Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
-Nope and nope.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
-I’d rather be joyful, but I think I’m more of the intellectual crazy.

Why are you, you?
-I was never given a choice to be anything else.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
-Not always, but I try to do what’s best.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
-Definitely the latter. It actually hurts.

What are you most grateful for?
-The people I know are always gonna be there.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
-That’s a tough one. I guess…I would have to say lose all my old ones. Because I could be told about what had happened later. And I’d have a chance to start over and learn about myself. But if you can’t make new memories, you’re like Drew Barrymore in 50 First Dates, and the people around you can’t live.

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
-Under the right conditions, yes. But you should always question the things you can’t know to be true in your heart.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?
-No, and let’s hope it stays that way.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
-Maybe not five…but I remember 3 years ago. And it mattered in a way that it definitely shaped who I’ve become…but at the same time, it didn’t matter because neither did the person who caused it.

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
-I actually had an excellent childhood, and I have so many great memories so I can’t really pick just one. I was a really happy kid, and my family was always around me. I think holidays were the best, though. Even before the presents I just loved the decorating, the music, the food, and all my favorite people being together.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
-Hmm. I really hate to sound so…yeah…but when Caleb and I began falling in love, and I realize that this could really be it. And then he proposed to me. And we’re going to have a future together. And it makes me feel secure. And this might seem like run of the mill stuff for some people, but people who know me or have been through what I had to go through…people who have every reason to believe that love is a figment of your imagination…well, for us that’s one of the biggest things you can experience. <–Lovedrunk Ramblings

If not now, then when?
-When I have the resources.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
-It's not about the loss. It's about having the means to do it.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Sort of. There used to be a man that would come into Sears, but he was mute. I didn't know how to help him at first because I couldn't understand his requests. I finally got a piece of paper and I wrote, "Can we communicate like this?" And he nodded enthusiastically, and we wrote back and forth on the paper until I had helped him. He would always smile and wave really big after that whenever he would walk by. It touched my heart, kinda.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
-Because religion is one of the most personal things a person can have. And many people are willing to die for it. And, in the case of radical Islam, it can sometimes be a tool to control other people with. It's all fucked up, if you ask me.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
-Not always. Everything should be put into context.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
-Not immediately. I would have to see how I could move that money to keep making more off of it. I would def take an extended leave, though. Haha

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
-If I loved what I was doing, I'd say the same or more. Right now, I'd say less. 🙂

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
-I have lived this day 100 times before. There 'bouts, anyway.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
-When I decided that I had to be with Caleb, even though I was terrified of getting into another relationship at the time. I was coming apart at the seams for a minute there.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
-Oh my God. I think I would just have to go to Ninny's house and take my mom and Caleb and Abbey and my cousins and aunts and just never let them go!!

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
-Nahhh. I don't know how much life expectancy I have anyway, and I'm not tryin to mess that up. Haha

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
-Living implies a certain vigor and accomplishment. It's the difference between being miserable and living on your own terms.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
-When others are dependent upon your decision.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
-Some lessons nobody ever wants to learn.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
-I would embrace the earthier, more hippy-ish side of me. Haha She's in there somewhere.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
-Today when Derek was mentioning that you usually only breath out of one nostril.

What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
-I mean…I'm a romantic. I love lots of things.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
-Well. Probably not those days in particular. But it is my goal to make this summer amazing for myself.

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
-I can finally say I'm making them!

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~ by aleaderlost on June 16, 2011.

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